When your beloved cat cries "Urgent Required!" there's only one thing to do. Reach for your capacitor equipped High Voltage Pet Brush. The "High Voltage from Low Voltage" gadget claims to electrocute fleas and other parasites living in your pet's hair, while leaving your dog's fido fleece or cat's fluffy fur unharmed. The painful, glazed-over looks frozen on the relentlessly shocked kittens' faces say otherwise.

This fine contraption is available for import from Ninghai Hengchuang Molding Factory, deep in the heart of China, a country known for its love of dogs and cats. Now that I think about it, this is probably some sort of reworked dog barbecuing tool.

I can't seem to find anywhere that carries it stateside yet, but it has the As Seen on TV sticker, so it should show up at Walgreens any day now. If you go for it, consider dog clothes to cover up the burns. Dog Protective Services will be watching you.